I think most Americans agree that September 11, 2001 was one of the worst days of their lives. And like most of you, every detail of the way I experienced it is forever etched in my mind from the moment I heard the news that the first plan hit to a few days later when the first regular tv show finally came back on again.
The things that raced through your mind, the emotions that gripped you over and over again as you tried to make sense of it all was tormenting:
Denial: "This couldn't possibly be happening in America."
Shock: "This is happening in America."
Fear: "Am I in real danger, do I need to do something?"
Panic: "Where are the people in my family? Are they safe?" (I go pick up my my 2 year old whose preschool is directly next door to a federal courthouse)
Sorrow washes over me: How terrified the people on the planes must have been, the children, my God the children on that plane....nobody should have to endure that kind of fear. This was the first gut wrenching, from the soul cry I had.
Confusion
Anger
More sadness
Pride and Honor in being an American
The list goes on, but now, as I am writing this...bringing up all these emotions is threatening to put me in the frame of mind I am trying to avoid.
Everybody deals with tragedy in their own way and there is no doubt that September 11, 2011 is going to be an exceptionally emotional day for millions of people, especially those who lost someone that was dear to them.
There has already been a great deal on tv and the news about remembering 9/11...it's a part of American History and it's important that we NEVER forget.
But I just can't relive that day. It's too painful.
A few minutes ago I tried to watch this video and lasted all of 45 seconds before I was sobbing and stopped viewing it.
I don't want September 11th to be a day that I am forever sad......
I want it to be a day that I wear colors that stand for our country, I want to wear an American Flag pin over my heart and I want it to be a day that I am just happy to be alive and to live in Greensboro, North Carolina, United States of America.
I want to give my deepest respects to those who died that day and those that still suffer from the effects of it. Those who died on the planes especially the children, those who jumped from the towers instead of burning to death like so many others, those who died when the buildings collapsed, the firefighters who died while trying to rescue others and those who died while trying to stop those souless bastards!
And for me, the best way I can respect them, is to hold my head up high and make it a day of love and thankfulness. I will not spend the day endlessly watching programs on tv about things that happened that day or spend my time reading stories about it....
I experienced September 11, 2001 once already and that is more than enough for a lifetime.
Love and be loved.
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