Fear.
Fear is an invisible cage that you put yourself in.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of humiliation.
Fear of failure.
Fear binds you into not living the life you deserve.
Fear traps you into despair and barres you from joy.
For me, fear of humiliation almost stopped me from joining roller derby....an activity and a community that has enriched my life more than I could have possibly imagined....but fear almost kept me away from it all.
I vaguely remember the first time I ever put roller skates on. I was 6 years old when I went to my neighbor's house to skate....she had a new pair, so I could borrow her old ones... After her mother backed the family car out from under the carport, and with the accompanied skate key, I strapped those metal skates to my shoes and the course of my life changed for ever.
Throughout my younger years, you could find me at the skating rink Friday nights without fail and each chance I could in between. I would come home everyday after school, plug in my portable cassette tape player (see below) and make up "figure skating" routines to mushy loves songs like "Guilty" by Streisand and Gibb. My childhood dreams revolved around skating....being a famous figure skater, winning the daily skate races at the rink, learning to skate backwards and stop with my toe stoppers...now that was some cool stuff right there....I longed be asked to couple skate...to put my arms around a boy's neck while we swayed and skated in unison; me of course, skating backwards so he could lead.
And the only time I ever broke a bone during my youth, is when I was skate racing my friend, Anne, tripped over myself when I leaned into a curve too far thus ending up with a fractured hand after the fall. It was glorious.
But then the teenager years came and skate nights were replaced with parties, movies and just hanging out.
Aside from the short stint with taking my kids to the rink, skating was something I did in the past... Until the fateful day when a derby girl from the Camel City Thrashers came to my EmbroidMe store, looking for team shirts. As soon as I heard what this 40something woman was doing, my entire being craved to put my skates back on....all except my old self, the one that said "you are going to humiliate yourself". But instead of just tucking that little nugget away in my head, and letting it decide MY future....I said it out loud, "I would love to skate, but I'm too old and fat"....and to my wonderful surprise, her response was, "Look, I know you aren't any older than me and I have lost at least 45 pounds since I started derby".
Hook, Line and Sinker....I was in baby!
In my humble opinion, Roller Derby is first a mental game and second about skill. If you can't get passed the first hurdle, you will never be a good derby player.
I can't possibly tell you the number of times I have heard, "it's all in your head" when me or someone else is struggling with a skill at practice....and 99% of the time, that's right on the mark! The fear of busting my ass paralyzed me when it came to jumps...I still loathe doing jumps, but I'm passed the point where the fear stops me from doing them. And what I have discovered is that most of the time, being encouraged (and when I say encouraged I mean pushed) by coaches or teammates to just try it, can get you to face the fear and just do it. But sometimes, like my fear of jumping, takes determination, creativity and practice to get through that fear.
So how did I finally get my jumps down? I went to the local skating rink, held on to the wall and jumped in place, knowing that I could hold on for dear life if I needed to, then I would slowly skate the length of the wall and jump while still holding on.....things progressively built from there. Before I knew it, I was jumping over cones at practice....and damn, it feels good when I don't bust my ass!
Each time I strap on my skates, I'm given a chance to grow as a person....to face my fears, head on, knowing that I have a support system that will catch me even if I do fall...literally and figuratively. This, in turn teaches me to face my fears everyday as I parent my kids, run my business and try to live a healthier life.
As adults, we all have fears, even more so than kids because many times we have more to lose than just a scraped knee.
What are your fears?
Reaching for a dream you gave up on many years ago? Going on an adventure trip you read about in National Geographic? Starting a new business?
And when you think about those fears, think about how it could be keeping you from joys, experiences and friendships. About how you could be living a more enriched life than you ever thought imaginable.
Intrigued?
My challenge for you is to take one step in facing the fear that's holding you back. What would that step be?
My first faced fear in Roller Derby, was going to watch the first practice. Once I saw the wide spectrum of people who played the game, all fear of being able to "fit it" were gone. That one simple step was all I needed to skate down the new road that has brought me joy and growth as both a skater and person.
What's your first step going to be?
Love and be loved.
YES! THIS! EXACTLY THIS! I'm just getting started in a league and I love it. It's terrifying most days, but I feel like I grow a little more every time I push down my fear and strap on those skates.
Derby is amazing.
Posted by: Amanda McGuire | October 10, 2012 at 03:18 PM