When I left my ex-husband, the last thing I wanted to do was be in a relationship again, EVER. I would never again give my heart over to a man who was just going to exhaust me mentally, emotionally and physically. That was it, I had had enough.
That lasted about six months tops, because that's just not who I am.
I want to be loved.
I want to give love.
And shortly there after I found myself with another man who was 10x worse then my ex husband! Thankfully it only took me 3 months to figure out I was really heading down the wrong path with that nut.
Somewhere along the way, early in life, I learned the wrong lesson:
I was supposed to give and the men in my life were supposed to take.
And somehow that's how happily ever after happened?
Looking back, it seems that I preferred boys and men who needed fixing. And lucky for them, I was the one willing and wanting to do the repairs.
Unfortunately for me, I ended up sacrificing my self worth just to be who and what he needed, so that he could be happy, even if that meant that I wasn't.
The results were always predictable....an up and down roller coaster ride of wonderful highs and horrible lows that ended up with me apologizing for what? For not being a good enough house keeper, for not wanting my boyfriend to get drunk again so I'm the caretaker, for wanting to spend too much time with him? Jeez, I'm not even sure how they could stand to be with me at all!
When my son and I watched "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", the movie that the quote is from....he asked me what it meant. So I told him it means people stay in bad relationships because they don't believe they deserve anything better than what they have.
I don't really know when or how I learned to be treated with less love than I was giving....but somewhere between then and now....I decided that I was only going to accept the love that I deserve, even if that meant being single for the rest of my life.
It's amazing what can happen when you decide you are worthy of receiving the same kind of love that you want to freely give to others.
You may even be surprised to find yourself accepting a kind of love you never knew existed.
Love and be loved.
Piano sheert music, to cut a llng story short, makws use of conventional music notation too the greatest extent annd in reality this had its inception or was invented 1,000 years in the past. When any note is flat (like Db), simply play the very next key immediately to the left, whether that's a black or white key. One of the most widely used formats for electronic music is MIDI, a useful data set that instructs MIDI-capable devices to play specific notes in a specific order.
Posted by: piano play online | December 06, 2013 at 02:55 PM
If you forgot a snack or drink you can always grab them here. Caring For A Relative With Brain Damage: Make Sure You Have Support. Trust is also a compulsory requirement for all fulfilling and happy relationships.
Posted by: http://kathiehus.soup.io/ | January 01, 2014 at 09:31 AM